


Why is this happening?..

by fluffyaot



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, F/M, Marley Arc (Shingeki no Kyojin), Sad, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Season/Series 04 Spoilers, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:46:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29898555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffyaot/pseuds/fluffyaot
Summary: Getting to Marley and retreating with Eren was the plan.You hadnt seen the man you loved in 10 months.But everything was not gonna go according to plan.
Relationships: Eren Yeager/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	Why is this happening?..

**Author's Note:**

> hii guys i really hope you enjoy this oneshot. its very angsty and im so sorry (especially if youve read chapter 138 of aot, fuck that was rough) but this idea just came into my head, and i tried my best to execute it.  
> mind you im very new to writing fanfics and english is not my first language.  
> any constructive critism is appreciated, along with kudos <3
> 
> also very slight manga spoilers !!!!

On the airship with Hange and Onyankopon, sitting in front helping out with steering the big machine you were headed towards Marley in. A big flash appeared far into the distance and a loud boom along with an enormous explosion could be heard.  
You could faintly make out the 60 meter titan in front of you, Armin, your friend had transformed and destroyed the port of Liberio, killing thousands.

As you got closer and closer it got a bit hotter in the airship, incredible how much heat the colossal titan could produce.

The airship was now flying above the titan

“I'm gonna go help him up” You said to Hange and Onyankopon.

“Be careful!” Hange replied as you walked out the heavy metal door.

Walking down the hall of the airship you reached the door with the small circular window in it, you opened it and Armin was flying up towards you with the use of the new odm gear.

“Take my hand” You said as Armin nodded and reached out his hand to you.

His eyes were teary.

“Thank you” He said once he was on the airship.

You just stood there smiling a smile of compassion and pity for your good hearted friend. You knew how much he hated taking the lives of others and it was obvious on his face as he looked up at you, red marks covering his face after his transformation.

He moved towards you and threw his arms around you.

You slowly did the same and rubbed his back gently with your hand

“Im sorry” he quietly sobbed into your neck.

“I know” you replied softly.

You both pulled away from the hug and began walking towards the front of the airship.

\----------------

Many thoughts clouded your head as you were getting closer to Liberio. The place Eren Jaeger, the man you loved, had just killed innocent civilians and also managed to drag the scouts into it.  
You haven't seen the man in 10 months since he left you sitting in that courtroom.

Could you have stopped him?

Should you have tried to talk to him?

Should you have paid more attention to him?

Should you have shown more affection towards him?

Did that question mean anything?

You were thrown out of your thoughts as Hange spoke.

“Y/N we need you to stay focused” 

“Sorry, Hange” you replied with a low voice.

They smiled softly at you. They could only imagine what thoughts must be going through your head.

“Thank goodness. So far, the operation is going as planned. Were counting on you Onyankopon!” They said while patting the man on the shoulder.

“Leave it to me Hange” He replied.

“Sneak through the zone low and slow. We will follow the lights and pick everyone up.”

Right, you were gonna look into those teal eyes again, those eyes you held such love for.  
You were gonna see Eren.

Hange turned to Armin who was standing right beside you.

“Talk about a reckless plan. Did Erwins ghost possess you or something?” They asked

“I can only hope. If it means his strength is with me.” 

He turned his saddened gaze towards the large window in front of you.

“Now that it's come to this, if we don't recover Eren and the others, there's no future for us.”

Were we gonna be able to recover him? 

\-------------------

You were standing beside Armin in the hall right in front of the same door you had helped him in from earlier.

“I'm gonna open it” He said, turning his head to yours, your eyes were fixed on the ground beneath you.

“Mhm” along with a nod was your response as you backed away a little.

Your head was still hanging low as he slowly opened the heavy door and glanced down towards him, Eren.

You were blocked from his view by Armin, and you didn't even bother trying to catch his eyes.

Armin kneeled down and held out his hand.

Eren quickly noticed the figure behind Armin, it was hard to tell who it was, but he knew.

His eyes flitted back to Armins and they looked at each other a bit before he took his hand.

You raised your head as he was helped up into the airship.  
Once he was in he was on his knees with his back bent over, looking down into the wooden planks. He looked exhausted.

He raised his head slowly and his eyes met yours.

The light in them was simply gone.

Only a tiny bit of life came back to them once he had admired your face for a couple of seconds.

His hair had grown, a lot, it hung past his shoulders and framed his matured and masculine face. He looked so different from the last time you had seen him, more rough and defined features yet his more feminine features were still there. 

You couldn't stop thinking about those eyes, those eyes that once held so much light and passion, that light was gone and it hurt you more than you had ever imagined it could.

You held a serious expression, you didn't want to smile, yet you were happy to see him, you didn't want to cry, though you were sad.

The thought of what he had just done pooled in your stomach and it ached.  
What was that feeling that made your stomach ache?  
You had no idea.

His eyes were still locked on yours.

“Dahm you're a filthy sight” Levi sneered at Eren as he walked towards him.

Eren's eyes turned to Levi.

“You fall in a pile of shit?... Eren..” Levi said with a bitter tone,

You couldn't blame him.

“Captain” Eren replied with a deep and husky tone.

Levi kept glaring at him until he kicked him harshly across the room with his knee.

Your eyes widened at the act of violence.

Armin had helped Mikasa onto the airship and she immediately moved forward trying to reach either Levi or Eren, you couldn't tell.  
Armin quickly held her back.

Your eyes were still glued to the man sitting across the room as three scouts surrounded him, pointing their guns at him.

“Captain please” You said just loud enough for him to hear.

The captain's eyes turned to you briefly but decided to ignore your words as he walked over towards Eren.

“This brings back memories, Eren. You have such a kickable face. After you're all tied up we will have a chat.”

“That's fine, but i explained everything in the letters.” He replied, his face completely cold as his eyes met the captains.

“Did you not understand it?” He then said.

“That face… it reminds me of those rotten shits who lived in the underground.” he paused.  
“Never thought i'd see it on you”

“Cheer up, everything happened like you wanted.”

Levi said referring to the man sitting to the left.

You all looked to the side to see Zeke Jaeger.

\-----------------

Eren had been tied up and was sitting on a steel bench, next to him was Zeke sitting on the floor.

“Hey, you gonna keep wearing that?” Levi asked in an annoyed tone.

“Huh? This? I've been getting compliments on it” Yelena replied as she ripped off that hideous fake beard.

Loud noises came from the other side of the door.

Standing next to Armin and Mikasa, you all turned your head towards the door.

“They're still celebrating?” Levi asked indirectly, not expecting an answer from any of you.

When you realized no one was coming you turned your head again..

Then without any knocking, the door finally opened.

Everybody turned their heads to see Jean, with two children right in front of him, a boy and a girl with rage practically taking up the whole room.  
They were tied up, beaten…

Their eyes widened in shock when they looked to the people behind you.

Did they recognize Eren, or maybe they knew Zeke?

That's when you realized the armbands they were wearing were yellow, you had been told that the normal Eldian civilian in Marley wore a white one…

“Gabi, Falco what are you doing here?” Zeke spoke up.

They know Zeke? How?... you kept running it over in your mind.

“You're alive?! Why did you let them capture you?” The little girl asked with desperation in her voice.

You looked behind you to read Zeke's face and hopefully get any kind of clue on his relation with these children.

Instead your eyes immediately went to Eren. 

He was finally looking up, his eyes wide as they glued to the children.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Everything was a mystery and it frustrated the hell out of you.

As Levi stepped forward Eren's eyes met yours once again, they were still open wide.

Your face had an expression that practically was asking him “What is going on?”

And Eren looked away, his face relaxing as he looked down once more.

You couldn't determine if you wanted to walk over and slap some sense into him or if you just wanted to feel his warm embrace again and his lips against yours...

“Who are these kids?” Levi asked as he looked down at them and your gaze turned to them again..

“They killed Lobov and used his gear to come onboard.” Jean replied.

They are dangerous?

“Sasha was shot by this girl”.....

Before you had time to register what he just said, he spoke again.

“I don't think she's gonna make it.”

You immediately ran out the door with Armin and Mikasa right behind you.

No, no, this can't be happening..

Running down the hall you saw Sasha, on the floor, wrapped up in bandages around her chest, they were red, very red.

As you got closer you noticed even more blood on the floor.

Connie was sitting beside her screaming at her to come back.

You finally reached her.

You knew she was gone yet you immediately cried out, screaming for her to wake up as warm, heavy tears filled your eyes and quickly ran down your cheeks…

\------------

Connie slowly opened the door to reveal you, tears still falling down your cheeks, yet you didn't make a noise. Connie was in complete shock as he stood there with wide eyes.

Jean slowly turned to meet your faces.

“Sasha….”

“Is dead..”

Those words, coming from his mouth made your tears fall faster.

You buried your face in your hands and began to quietly sob.

Silence.

No one spoke a word.

“Connie.”

You lifted your head slightly as you heard Erens voice…

“Sasha… did she have… any last words?”

The boy beside you spoke up, his voice trembling.  
“She said… meat.”

He chuckled.

Eren chuckled... And it sent shivers down your spine..

And in that moment you had no idea that Eren was recalling the exact same memory as you.

Standing on top of the wall 5 years ago, with your comrades, cleaning out cannons and bonding over everyone joining the Survey Corps due to Erens “inspirational” speech the night before. The moment Sasha revealed she had stolen meat from the officers' storehouse you and Eren had given each other the same brief look of disbelief at the maniacs actions.  
She assured you it would all be fine, and that cattle would be raised again once you had retaken the land.

Sasha, a close and dear friend was dead.

And everything was far from fine.

Did this really happen because Eren dragged us into this?

Was he to blame?

A soft “no” escaped your lips, yet you knew it was true.

“Eren… Sasha only died because you dragged the scouts into it.” Jean spoke.

Why is this happening?...

**Author's Note:**

> hope this wasnt too sad... anyways tysm for reading, i hope you have a great day and remember to take care of yourself <33


End file.
